Time To Take Over

What a piece! I was hanging on to every word until the very end, trying to understand what this "voice in my head" really was. I loved the buildup to the very last word, it kept me on the edge of my seat and gave me a shock when I reached the finish.

Even though others may not agree, I feel that this piece provides much more imagery than most of your other ones. In other pieces, you described the scene very accurately and painted the picture for the reader. In this, you stepped back a little and let the reader paint the picture, let them see themselves in the mirror instead of describing who was standing in front of said mirror. When I read "drift further into insanity," I saw myself falling into a black pit, and I just kept falling down. When you wrote, "No one, just... Me," I saw myself in front of a mirror with a shadowy outline of me in the mirror. Maybe that is what other people will see, or maybe they'll have their own way to display their thoughts when they read these words.

Wording. It was very, very nice. "Ludicrous" caught my attention the most, it's a descriptive word and it was well used, if you're trying to provide a strong emotion in the reader then I say keep using big words like that.

The emotions I felt were anger, shock, and horror, which are all obvious in this piece. You're supposed to be angry at the voice for insisting it's right, you're supposed to feel shocked as horrified when you realize the person in the mirror and the voice in your head are one and the same. I liked how you made it obvious that the reader was supposed to feel that way, but didn't use the words "angry" or "shocked." That would have ruined the mood a little.

The only thing I will say that I didn't like as much was the name. "Thomas." I don't know who you are writing for, was it meant for the general audience, or for a specific person named Thomas? If you intend to write pieces for a general reader and want to leave the imagery up to their imagination, then I wouldn't put a name in the piece. If you want to write it for a specific person, then the name is fine.

All in all, very nice job, I'll be looking forward to whatever you release next!!